Cowboy v2
by keliathewolf
Summary: This is the re-write of my story Cowboy, with a more developed plot and characters. I hope you like it as much as you liked the original Cowboy. Rated T for suggestive themes and some foul language and also some blood and violence. Character Deaths.


**Alright, this is the rewrite of the first chapter of Cowboy. I think the way I've been portraying my story was childish and frivolous so I've decide to re-write it. I just don't like the way I was writing before and given that my writing skills have improved I've decided to re-write it.**

**I hope you like it. For Cowboy fans, I hope I still managed to pass the same message through this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do own Cowboy and my dear OC's.**

That day was catastrophic. The young woman looked barely out of her teens, ever so fragile and helpless, with her dark brown hair falling around her face. Her eyes were watery and her chest rose and fell with no rhythm as choked sobs took over her.

_I don't want you to come_ he had said. She could still remember his expressionless face as he stepped back and offered her a broken smile. Then, he had turned and ran away.

The young woman had always thought she wasn't good enough for him, that she was just an _infatuation_. What she didn't expect was for it to hurt just as much as if she was being burnt alive.

Slowly, she raised a trembling hand and brushed the hair out of her teary eyes, clearing her vision of the place she was in. She studied the perfectly round small clearing as if to dare it to stop her. She wasn't going to stop. Nothing was going to stop her.

What hurt the most, she thought as she hesitantly started walking in the direction she had seen him take off, was that he had taken the people she considered her family with him. The thought of never being able to see the people she loved again frightened her to her very core.

She mentally saw their faces again, smiling at her and handing her presents. It was a mental image of her birthday. She remembered just how enthusiastically Alice had greeted her and hugged her, with her black spiky hair perfectly styled as she praised her dress.

She could remember Carlisle and Esme next to each other, smiling and looking just as dazzling as every other day if not more. Next to them, there was Emmett with his teddy bear look and sporting a goofy grin on his lips. The huge vampire had his arm wrapped around his beautiful wife – Rosalie. Rosalie didn't look frightening – not even threatening in that evening. She was actually expressionless as she stepped forward and hugged her.

Then she remembered that she had almost missed Jasper. He was perfectly still, leaning against the wall, his blond hair falling perfectly around his face, framing it. He had been the one attacking her, but she didn't blame him. She knew of his weakness and also knew he would beat himself up for not being able to restrain himself around her.

"_Happy birthday Bella!" _They had said, almost in a chorus as she stepped into the room.

But that was not the time to mourn over the happy times, Bella thought has her legs gave up their walk. She fell to the ground with a muffled cry, holding on to her ankle. It was probably strained.

Bella stood up, grasping a nearby tree for support, as she saw the bright light coming from ahead. Her house probably wasn't far. With a little more effort, she limped forwards – enough to escape the cover of the trees and for Charlie to see her.

She didn't know for sure just how many hours she had been in the woods, but it had certainly been a lot because Charlie was looking through the living room window, searching the night with worried eyes until his gaze fell on her. He turned as pale as a ghost as he ran outside, nearly breaking the door in his hurry to help his daughter.

"Bella!" He yelled as he reached her and she collapsed in his arms, sighing tiredly.

"H-hey dad" She sighed again as she made herself comfortable on her father's arms. Charlie laid a hand on her forehead, to check her temperature and was promptly swatted away.

"I'm fine, I'm just tired" She was on the brink of exploding. Her temperature was raising and she was starting to shake from all the emotions trying to get the upper hand. Bella just couldn't take it anymore.

Charlie frowned but seemed to understand as he carried the girl in his arm inside and gently laid her down on the couch. He gently stroke her forehead with his thumb as an unfamiliar look crossed his face – gentle yet fierce, she couldn't quite explain it.

"Bella, what happened?" The man asked quietly after some time – seconds, minutes, hours? Bella braced herself for the explanation she knew he needed. There were some things that could escape his curiosity, but this was not something to be ignored.

"Me and Edward" She breathed a little bit harder at the very mention of his name as pain shot through her head and body. She swallowed and continued "We went out for a walk in the woods"

Bella finally wiggled her way out of the concerned father's grasp and stood up shakily.

"I'm going to take a shower" She informed, praying to God that would be enough and that he would leave her alone to dwell on her own pain. Charlie's gaze burnt her for a few more seconds before he nodded slightly and lazily picked the phone up from the coffee table and started dialing some numbers.

"I'll order a pizza. Don't worry with dinner tonight" He understood that there were some boundaries that even he couldn't break. He couldn't force his daughter – who had just returned from a 'walk in the woods' exhausted and broken – to cook for him. He wasn't that lazy.

* * *

><p>The water running through her skin felt <em>so good<em>, she thought as she bathed, moaning at the feeling of the hot water drowning away her anxiety.

But everything ends and problems can't be kept at bay forever so soon enough she turned off the water and stepped out of the bathtub, proceeding in wrapping her fragile body in a towel.

The young woman shakily walked to her bedroom and her hands hovered over the pile of clothes lying motionless inside her wardrobe, unsure on what to dress.

What does one dress when they are broken inside? When their hearts have been shattered to pieces and left to die by the ones they held dear? Clothes didn't have much meaning in that situation, so she settled for a plain brown sweatshirt and jeans.

It dawned on her – almost as if mocking her. She was alone, utterly and terrifically alone, with no one to turn to as she felt her heart fall of her chest. A huge hole seemed to have been dug – clawed - into her chest, leaving the wounds open and bleeding. How ironic – her heart was bleeding for a vampire.

Bella felt numb, consumed by feral pain that ate away her heart as her hands brought her knees closer to her chest, holding herself together. She didn't know how long she cried, but dawn was starting to break when her consciousness returned, crashing through her numb paradise.

One tiny single light ray hit her face as she slowly twisted her neck to get a better look at the breaking dawn. Again, nature mocked her, offering a thing that she knew she couldn't – _wouldn't_ – take: a new opportunity.

She was somewhat surprised that her father hadn't gone up to her room to check on her, or maybe he did, but she was blinded by the pain and didn't notice. Bella sighed heavily as she crawled to her bed, forcing her arms to pull her up and under the covers, and curled in a ball, retreating to a fetal position.

Some more hot tears washed her face before sleep finally claimed her.

The following day was better and worst. It felt better because her father went to work and so she didn't have to worry about putting herself together so soon. She wouldn't have to pretend that everything was ok nor explain exactly _why_ she was feeling that way.

It was worst because the open wound in her chest – that horrific hole piercing her chest – bled more. Hurt more. And, basically, teared her apart into pieces with every beating of her heart. She gasped for air as her lungs stopped working, froze as her blood stopped in her veins and fell to the ground as her muscles disappeared.

She was alone

No one ever wanted to be alone. It just wasn't something that the human race wanted or needed. Humans were social beings with social needs. But vampires...

No, she wouldn't think of it. At least not at the present time.

For the first time since she had met Edward, she felt fear. It was quite ironic given the fact that she had been attacked several times since that fateful occasion, but heart is a funny thing. No one can fully understand its matters.

Icy fear clawed at Bella's insides and a blood curling scream slipped out of her delicate lips, though it sounded more like a howl. And so Bella howled in what one could only describe as pure and raw agony. She wailed and howled and cried for hours – seemed like eternity, though – until one low grumble from her stomach alerted her to the fact that her body didn't crave only for Edward.

It was the only thing that still appeared to work in the young woman's dysfunctional body.

The browned haired young woman got up and stretched carefully, feeling every muscle scream in protest. It was to no avail, though, for the woman walked – or limped – downstairs – completely disrespecting personal hygiene – heading for the kitchen.

Bella doubted that pancakes would change anything – besides quieting down her grumbling stomach – but she needed something –_ anything_ – to distract her from the grief raging in her heart.

She took a bite of her breakfast, moaning loudly as the sugary taste touched her tongue. She kept on masticating the pancakes, occasionally moaning, while her dull gaze lingered on the window.

A thought, disconnected and potentially dangerous, sneaked in her mind, impregnating her already chaotic brain with an idea. A dangerous one, that is. She couldn't stand it, the dull feeling that took over her, throwing her off balance and so her body came up with the only answer it could find to that problem.

She needed more pain.

The need of feeling something was there, burning through her limbs, commanding her to get up, climb up the stairs and walk to the bathroom she and her father shared.

Bella picked up a razor blade with trembling hands, running her fingers over the sharp blade. It seemed sharp enough to provoke some sort of damage. Her conviction faltered for a second. _Why are you doing this?_ Her mind screamed, only to be promptly shut down by her body's needs.

The young woman smiled – a small idiotic grin – and thought about the feeling she was about to experience. It would be an escape to the dulling sensation that ran through her body and that was all she needed.

She stopped for a second, with the razor blade lingering on her bare stomach.

She closed her eyes and let an image flow to her mind. The image of bloodthirsty Jasper throwing himself at her, teeth bare and eyes wild, made her flinch slightly. Had she been more careful and it would have never happened.

With one last shaking breath, she pressed the razor blade against her smooth skin and slid it horizontally. Bella flinched at the sudden pain she felt and clutched the border of the bath tub for support.

And then, when the realization of what she had just done sank in, she smiled and closed her eyes, letting the blood flow freely for her body.

A new opportunity. A new beginning. A new _her_. That's what the wound represented. She would let the old blood flow out of her and welcome a new life with wide open arms.

Then, she gasped slightly at the prospect of that new life. She would be alone.

She _was_ alone.

And then she felt her energy falter and she forgot about everything else.

**Uhhh, I think it wasn't so bad. It gives the story a new aura of seriousness (does that word even exist? My spell checking isn't working at the moment) and I like it.**

**So, tell me what you think, please? Reviews are appreciated but not needed.**

**Thank you for reading.**


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